If you’re reading my blog you’re probably a medical student or junior doctor who is struggling with medicine. Maybe you’re searching for answers, googling “should I quit medicine” or came across my post on my fear of failure and why I haven’t left medicine yet.

Lately I’ve been posting things about the different mental health issues doctors face and how we can best help ourselves. I’ve also been sharing how I think I’ve found my purpose. My why. Advocating and spreading awareness for medical student and junior doctor health.

Despite this, I want to make it clear to all of you that I don’t have it all figured out. Now that I’m having extended time off I finally have the privilege to truly self-reflect and realise how burnt-out I was. The posts on junior doctor mental health are very close to home, and I wasn’t practising self-care a lot of the time.

I’m sharing those posts to mainly show you that you’re not the only one feeling that way. That it’s way more common than you think and that it’s okay to struggle sometimes. The strategies to cope are things that worked for me, but also things I look back on and wish I had done.

PROGRESS IS NOT LINEAR – by Michael Plank

Not losing sight of my original goal

I also realised today that I don’t want to lose sight of why I created this blog in the first place. Currently I’m unemployed, but will probably be back into full-time medicine next year. The reason – to be able to better help medical students and junior doctors with their health and wellbeing.

However, I want to make it clear that my likely return to medicine isn’t saying that everyone should keep slogging away. I care about people, and want to help people self-reflect and question themselves. It’s about choice, and giving medics the freedom to explore their interests. Everyone in this life deserves to feel happy and fulfilled, and if I can even assist one person in finding that I’ll be grateful.

So I’m not saying that medicine is right for everyone, because it isn’t. I want to support those who want to stay in medicine and help those who are questioning things. Facilitate doctors to make choices that are right for them and their unique lives. If that means quitting medicine, let’s work together to explore that unknown.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Amazing feedback

Recently, I’ve had amazing comments on my fear of failure post. It’s raw, honest and lays bare my deepest fears in leaving medicine. Basically, I realised that the main thing holding me back from leading a life I enjoy was that I was scared to be a failure.

A sobering thought that I’d rather be miserable, and have another emotional breakdown, than be seen as a failure.

Two lovely medics have commented on this post, saying that it has made them feel less alone. They both identified with my words, and thanked me for them.

This makes what I’m doing all the more worth it. Helping even one person to feel less alone is spurring me on. I originally started writing to clear my mind and deal with my emotions, but now it’s turning into something else.

Yes it helps me, but now I’m hoping it can help a few more individuals out there. This has shown me what I enjoy doing, and what I want to continue to do.

There was a moment in my residency that I was only doing my job to earn money to pay my bills. A miserable motivator, especially since I’ve never valued money above other things. Now I can say that I believe in this project, I’d do it for free happily, and even if it means putting myself out there.

If you’ve made it to the end of this post, thanks! Looking forward to continuing this adventure. Let’s see what it’ll bring!

Photo by Mark Fletcher-Brown on Unsplash